the story of a cow and a cowboy

A devout cowboy in the area known as the "American Bible Belt" lost his favorite Bible while mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover."

 It must have been an intelligent Highland Cow, or Hielan' Koo.

My friend Wilbur sent me this great lesson in communication. George P, an elderly dancer in Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the  bedroom window George opened the back door to go turn off the light, and saw people in the shed stealing things.  He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"  He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me."

The police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available"

George said, "Okay."  He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up. 

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at George's residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Don't mess with old people- especially if they are fit and healthy and they dance! Dancing keeps you mentally alert.

HERE is a great article by writer Marilyn Friedman that fits perfectly with the title and theme of this Blog: telling the amusing story of a man who danced until he died.


https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/30/well/move/health-benefits-dancing.html?fbclid=IwAR3AOjGzUQWPfArcoQNhs1CXCcpZlYJKwdHUBsWYYFwfQAjRBickUfd8kvo 

"Is Dancing the Kale of Exercise?"
Research shows that dance offers a wealth of anti-aging benefits. It’s also fun.
Thank you to my Gaelic musician and dancing friend Michael Newton. Dance on!

Larks&Ravens - some comments I have received about this contra-dance nomenclature:

from Penny: "Absolutely nonsensical!  Ever since my school days (all girls, of course) whenever I dance with a woman I ask if she wants to be man or woman: no problem. So if men want to dance with each other, fine. Ask the same question. 

End of argument."

from Mal: "I feel so strongly about this that I will give up dancing rather than submit to this bullying.  As you know, I do dance calling so regardless of what the rest of the world does, we will always use the terminology "men" and "women" (or gents and ladies, guys and gals, etc.)  

Have a great day."

 

I had a bad dance experience in New York where I was agressed by a young woman contra dancer because I was wearing the kilt. Or simply because I was a man? This was an evening where we were called Larks & Ravens instead of Men and Women. Weird. and I felt I was being bullied. I am a man (by birth, not by choice) and now I have to be a LARK? A song bird? I claim my own freedom of speech to say that imposing Larks&Ravens is an aggression. Ravens are predators and scavengers. They feed on corpses. They pick at stinking cadavers with their pointy beaks. I do not see women as ravens. I do not see dancers as ravens. Ravens are predators without charm. Dance is charming, or it is nothing.

I protest. Some of my American women friends refuse to dance in “Lark&Raven” dance groups and several have encouraged me to write about it. So I shall become a vocal opponent of Larks&Ravens. It is equally as absurd to see the simple descriptive words  “Leaders and Followers” - or “Men and Women” - as markers of social discrimination ... as to claim that “driver” and “passenger” are discriminatory terms for users of a motor vehicle. Some of us are men and some of us are women. I can dance on the women's side of the dance, and I can dance "as a woman" without losing my identity. In contra dance, plenty of men wear skirts. It is a happy atmosphere, free of bullying disguised as political correctness. In Scottish dance, it is not even a question .... thank goodness. Men can dance with men, and women often dance with women because there are not enough male dancers. 
Larks&Ravens? Phooey! Leave people in peace to enjoy their dancing!

 

William in Edinburgh just wrote a wonderful review of my book

I am glad you enjoyed it, Will - and it was also a great idea to order a second copy from Amazon for your girlfriend.

My wife sat down next to me as I was zapping through the channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
That’s when the fight started. One week later, I am still not able to talk properly.

FEET. The most beautiful part of a woman is her feet (if she is a dancer) and after her feet, I look at her eyes. If both feet and both eyes are beautiful, I WANT TO DANCE with her !!!!   The rest of her body simply joins her eyes to her feet. That is what my book is mostly about: beautiful women with elegant feet and bewitching eyes. Men can also have good dancing feet - like me!

Keeping your leg muscles healthy

After dancing, I stretch out my back and shoulders, my leg muscles and my feet and - in winter at least - I wear the woolen stockings in bed in order to keep my leg muscles warm and avoid night-time cramps in my calves and thighs. It was not necessary when I was younger, but it useful these days.

What is the most beautiful part of a woman's body?

If you are a dancer, it is the feet - obviously ... followed by the smiling eyes.  So look after your feet: wooden sprung floors, gentle stretching before and after dancing, and cool them off in cold water.